TITLE: THE WAY OF PEACE AUTHOR: Carleen Elliott Abstract: Carleen Elliott is an Anishinabequa who belongs to the Saugeen-Ojibway Band, She currently lives in her home First Nation, Cape Crocker (Neeyaashiingnigmiing) on the Bruce Peninsula where she is able to devote most of her time to care for her frail mother. She is a long-time Native Rights activist; Among many other things, Carleen was the Station Manager of CHFN 100.3 FM which is owned and operated by the Chippewas of Nawash. She is also still involved in various community collective endeavours such as Relief work at the Women's Shelter and Literacy Supervisor (1 year). Article:

During the past year, one of the family's young women decided to accept the marriage proposal of her longtime friend. When the wedding invitation arrived in the mail, I knew that I would enjoy a pleasant, refreshing weekend with the many relatives and friends of this youthful, enthusiastic couple. Just as importantly, the wedding would bring the family together for a much anticipated joyful event; a gathering for other than the usual reason where, as one of the less tactful nephews put it, "no one is laid out".

The wedding ceremony would take place at a campground that was designed by a local Aboriginal entrepreneur who wanted to showcase various eras of Native life from pre- Columbian time up to the present. The location of the camp is on a highway that is considered to be one of the major thoroughfares through the tourist area on the Bruce Peninsula; the actual location being a few kilometers south of Tobermory. Visiting the camp was a personal new experience and again, an event to be anticipated. Having passed the camp with its narrow highway frontage many times and only noting its location in a most casual manner, it was a pleasant discovery that the camp itself was large and very well laid out. Before my departure from home to the camp, the mother of the bride informed me that all the young relatives and friends would be expected to camp out or make themselves comfortable in one of th many teepees but that cabins had been reserved for all the older relatives including me. That was very good news and I accepted the circumstances as a wonderful gift because having had major surgery at the end of March, I was still struggling with minor post-operative inconveniences and being provided with a sense of privacy was very much appreciated. Packing for the weekend included not only personal luggage but cooking utensils and the ingredients for my contribution to the wedding feast which was a venison and wild rice soup. My nephew's wife had given me a large venison roast as their contribution to the feast and while my mother and I usually have a cache of wild rice, this was the last of our rice that would be used in the soup. But since it is summertime and is the visiting season we expect lots of company who always bring gifts, I expect the jar in which we store our rice will fill up again soon.

On my arrival at the camp, friends of the groom who had travelled for the wedding from the state of Indiana greeted me with smiles and welcome. All of my bags and various accoutrements were sorted, this to the cabin, that to the kitchen or refrigerator and were carried off. Whenever I encounter such eager youthful helpfulness these days, I feel nostalgia for the days not too long ago that I was one of the ones who lent my energy and physical well-being to helping others. Now I find myself on the receiving end of fabulous graciousness.

The cabin was located in a cedar grove; it was tiny and beautiful with a very comfortable double bed, a bedside bench, hooks on the wall, and a small heater for the cold nights. Right outside the cabin door was a picnic table and a fire pit and at the end of that was the path to the outhouse. The camp does have a central building that has flush toilets and showers but my cabin was located in an area of the camp that was a bit of a distance from that building. Because I had been told about the somewhat rustic conditions, my packing had included a washbasin, washcloth and towel for my early morning rising and I had brought a large jug for my own water. I planned to avail myself of the modern facilities after my much loved cup of coffee. When nightfall came about, everyone who had arrived were all settled into their accommodations and campfires were lit and the serious visiting began. The night became chilly but the campfire and company provided all the warmth necessary. As usual when the company is pleasant, I stayed awake past my usual bedtime. But when I thought of the large venison roast I would have to start cutting up early next morning I decided to leave the fire to go to my cabin for a rest. Since I had forgotten to bring a flashlight, one of the young people with a torchlight escorted me back through the cedar grove. Settling to sleep was very nice, then a middle of the night trip to the outhouse brought an earlier than planned adventure; just a small adventure. The cabin had an outside light but the cast of the light ended at the far side of the picnic table and the outhouse was about four metres beyond that in pitch black. I was very gratified to discover that my bush skills were as good as ever, how to protect my face and keep my footing and just generally get to where I need to go in the dark without injury. Needless to say the walk back to the cabin was much easier because the outside light was visible. I told my little story a few times the next day and the following night the light outside the outhouse was turned on.

On rising the next morning, the camp was very quiet as I strolled to the kitchen to make my coffee. Other visitors were up and about by the time I was ready to go to the showers. Then it was back to the kitchen to prepare the soup. The camp kitchen was fitted up with all the pots, pans and utensils I could use, including a large soup pot. But I did indulge in one very modern convenience when I planned my packing; I took along my food processor. Speedy preparation of the soup was necessary because other cooks were coming in and I had planned to have all my cooking preparations out of the way and to have the soup on to simmer by the time other cooks arrived. My preparations went very smoothly then it was back to the cabin for a short rest before dressing more formally to meet the newly married couple.

The bride and groom were scheduled to come out of the promises circle at noon. Their best friend met them and carried their marriage pipe for them while they greeted relatives and friends as a newly married couple. Everyone had seen the couple's ceremonial wedding clothes beforehand but the sight of the couple dressed in formal regalia was breathtaking. The bride wore buckskin with fringes from her shoulders to the ground. She had decided that the lacing was so beautiful that beading was not necessary, instead she wore a bone breastplate, a necklace and, for her braids, a hair rosette all of which were made for her by her future husband as well as carrying a beaded purse also made by him. She wore beaded earrings made by her mother and carried a fan given to her by a loving friend. In the old time way, the bride and groom wore beaded moccasins that they had made for each other. The groom was dressed in a buckskin shirt with a decorated fur mantle, breechcloth, and antique felt leggings that he had beaded himself. He wore a decorated fur turban and carried his dancer's fan. They walked out of the teepee and came to meet all of us and to come down the line to receive congratulations. At the end of the line, they encountered a surprise. That was the presence of my mother whose attendance was uncertain given her medically frail condition. She was seated in the car of a friend who had driven her to the encampment. The bride and groom were delighted and honoured that their elderly aunt travelled so far for their special day. There were affectionate greetings all around then my mother and her friend left to return home. Following the Pipe Ceremony, the couple invited everyone to begin the feast. As always, the feast provided a huge amount of food. al the old time foods were available as well as barbequed goodies for the children and whoever else also like hamburgers and hotdogs. The feast ended with the modern tradition of the dessert and wedding cake. The formalities concluded with the bride and groom's gifting all who were in attendance.

Following the formal part of the ceremony, most of the guests left to get a rest before playtime and the singing and dancing began, all of which went late into the night. The next morning there was a gathering for breakfast before the visitors from the North Shore had to get in line for the Chi-Cheemaun and the long distance travellers from the States including the groom's brother from Colorado had to begin their journey home. It was a beautiful weekend spend with the dearly beloved of my lifetime and the new friends I met on this very special occasion. The bride and groom will make their home in Indiana.

This article was originally published in Cross Cultures Magazine in Volume 10 - Issue 1 - 2004. Unauthorized copying, distribution or other usage without express written permission of the publisher is prohibited.