CROSS CULTURAL MATURITY Hesham Sabry holds a B.Sc.Engineering (1972); and is currently in a joint Honours Psychology-Anthropology program at University of Waterloo.

Are the people of one culture more mature than those of another? Some will answer in the affirmative. How many times have I heard a people described as socially and politically immature, while they in turn were being made fun of and called childish? How often have some been described as unrefined, yet they describe other cultures as insensitive or socially naive?

As another example, peoples who are socialized to be modest and humble are regarded as weak or inferior by societies where arrogance and conspicuous consumption are seen as strength. Similarly, peoples whose liberal expression of gratitude and appreciation are a fundamental part of their ethical code might be viewed as ingratiating or subservient.

From where does the discrepancy in the views of those cultures arise? People from different cultures sometimes describe each other in unfavourable terms, although the persons criticized are respected individuals and are what a mature man or woman is expected to be in their own culture. So why does it happen that they sometimes form negative views of each other?

The reason may be found in the way people in many societies seem to define maturity. In most cultures, but especially in North America, the tendency is to judge people on one and only one criterion, that of their social skills - their competence on various social occasions. How well they mix and socialise at a cocktail party, how good they are at small talk, how well they can squeeze a joke or humour in a speech they are giving ...

This kind of attitude presents two major problems. One is that what is socially attractive, proper or appropriate in one society may be the exact opposite in another one .. we can see the potential trouble here.

The second major problem is that social competence in any society is not a dependable measure of general maturity, the kind that would allow mutual understanding between what may be fundamentally different cultures.

Social skills are learned superficial motions that are acquired as the individual grows up. In time, a whole repertoire of different 'scripts' is compiled, one to fit almost each social occasion we are likely to encounter during our lifetime, in our own societies. These become spontaneous, so that the script specific to a situation is automatically activated whenever the need arises.

As a result, we may very well be totally thrown off balance, feel lost, and behave haphazardly when we are put in a situation for which we do not have a prelearned script. Then we might be seen as immature, rude or whatever - since it is human nature to attribute one's behaviour to one's personality rather than to the situational circumstances. What's more, these attributions are then further generalized to include one's whole ethnic race, culture or religion ... in short, what is referred to as stereotyping.

This state of affairs goes to show that social competence is only an outer veneer and is not at all indicative of anything except that those persons have well assimilated the social skills of their culture. It is certainly not an indication of how those persons will behave in crises, how responsibly they will deal with problems at home or at work,, and so on with other core issues of their lives. Therefore: (1) the differences in what would be considered socially competent behaviour in diverse cultures, and (2) the superficiality of that criterion as a measure of other characteristics of maturity and personality, when we combine those two problems, we come up with the clash of cultures.

Imagine yourself at the cash counter of your favourite supermarket, the usual comment on the cold and snow in winter is how terrible it is and how you look forward to spring; but imagine yourself saying how much you love the cold and snow .. you have broken the code of small talk .. and .. you have totally confused the poor cashier as to how to respond, not only that, but you have probably also classified yourself as a freak, or whatever else, by this one comment.

The examples abound of situations in which misunderstandings can and do arise, sometimes because of erroneous preconceptions or expectations, but most often because of a failure to operate beyond the bounds of our learned social scripts. That is where trouble breeds. Racism and prejudice are the most common accusations made, and naturally, when one party is a minority within the dominant society, these feelings can run amok.

So, where and how does maturity fit into all this? What is maturity then, if the social skills upon which we base our judgements of others may turn out to be no more than just attractive exteriors to sometimes empty shells?

One important aspect of maturity, I believe, is the ability to cope with new, difficult or unexpected situations, by drawing on a core of flexibility and adaptability. In a cross cultural context, that would mean being able, on occasion, to temporarily put aside our long learned customs, in order to accommodate those of others; being able to accept, appreciate, respect and even enjoy the ways and traditions of others.

That flexibility in any person, of any culture, will probably be reflected in his or her other behaviour as well. People who are flexible enough to compromise the differences they have with other cultures are probably the persons who will be just as mature and more able to handle and solve problems, more able to put themselves in other peoples' shoes and see things from their perspective, and so on.

Perhaps if we do not adhere so strongly to our learned social behaviours when we deal with other cultures; if we do not see ourselves and our ways as strictly the right ways; if we are flexible enough.. mature enough .. to lessen the partiality we have for our own norms of social behaviour, and look at the substance of other cultures, there might be a chance that accusations and counter accusations of racism and prejudice that mostly arise from misunderstanding other cultures might diminish with time, if not disappear completely!

No culture is inherently hostile to other cultures, none are innately racist. The concept of racism and its practice seems to arise with time and through extended contact, and even though economic and other factors are sometimes cited as causes, I believe that our social misconceptions are almost always what spark the ensuing great divide.

This article was originally published in Cross Cultures Magazine in Volume 1 - Issue 4 - 1992. Unauthorized copying, distribution or other usage without express written permission of the publisher is prohibited.